I have a pathetic personal story of jealousy, anger, and Holiday cheer that did not make the Podcat...

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Back when The Chipmunks had legitimate popularity amongst kids, my two younger brothers and I received Chipmunk stuffed animals for Christmas. Being the oldest, I assumed that I would be receiving the Alvin doll. Alvin is the oldest. He is the leader. And also, obviously, he is the most charismatic, JUST LIKE ME.

Unfortunately, my two little brothers are named Simon and Alex. This meant that the Simon doll went to Simon, the Alvin doll went to Alex, and I was stuck with Theodore, the fat stupid chipmunk. This slight still burns me today, and I have never forgiven my parents for casting me as the crappy christmas rat, though in retrospect they probably made the appropriate decision.

But Theodore had the cutest girlfriend.

i rather liked simon. tall, skinny, and geeky, with glasses to rival mine. but theodore was rather cuddly, which is a quality much appreciated in a chipmunk.

I understand the appeal of being cuddly now, but when I was 12, I just wanted to be the loudest.

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